Today I read 2 Nephi 9 which is one of my all time favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon. But at the same time it makes me a little sad for myself. Jacob says that his soul abhorreth sin. Lately I have been thinking about my standing before God. To my chagrin I find that my soul does not abhor sin, but rather it is a struggle to keep myself clean. I say that, but it is not really the truth. I do not struggle against sinning, but rather my soul desires to sin. My weaknesses beset me and as such my natural man desires to return to my sins, to find carnal pleasure. My soul does not shake at the appearance of sin but rather I have to make a conscious choice to not find pleasure in it. Why is that? I am making my choice by my actions, so why is it that my nature is not changing? Why have I not experienced the mighty change of heart? When does the Lord help me have the change of heart so my desires become righteous? The truth is I don’t know. I will just have to keep choosing the righteous path and hope that the Lord will one day reward me with a change of heart. Until tomorrow.