A Pattern for Conflict Resolution

Today I read Genesis 13 were Abraham and Lot leave Egypt. As the chapter goes on, the herdsmen of Lot don't like the herdsmen of Abraham and so Abraham and Lot decide to separate and go their own way. This is ultimately what gets Lot into trouble. But you have to admire the way Abraham handles the conflict. He does not desire there to be any trouble between them because they are family and so he tells Lot to choose which direction he wants to take his herdsmen and Abraham will take the other direction.

Lot chooses the better of the grounds and heads towards the cities. We will find out why that was a huge mistake in the coming chapters but Moses in his writing gives us a glimpse as to what was wrong with this when he tells us that the men of Sodom were wicked. However just about everyone knows that is the truth. But I like the way that Abraham dealt with the conflict between himself and his family. He selflessly gave Lot the first choice of where to relocate to when he was older and could have taken the best land for himself and left Lot with the leftovers, but instead he gave Lot first pick and took what was left.

This is a perfect example of how to handle conflict, really with anyone, but especially with family. Abraham was much more concerned with the happiness and well being of his nephew than he was with the location of his tent and fortune. He wanted to make sure that he did everything in his power to prevent a conflict, even between his servants and Lot's servants, because he and Lot got along just fine. And it's interesting to me that they were his servants, Abraham could have just ordered them to knock it off, however it seems that Abraham knew that the land where they were could not sustain both flocks for long and the servants being upset with each other was just the straw that broke the camels back.

This is a wonderful model for resolving all kinds of conflict, no matter who it is between. When we have a problem like this where we need to resolve a conflict, we need to be more concerned with the other person than we are with ourselves. If we focus on others first, there will be less conflict to resolve in the first place. The world would be such a nicer place if everyone followed this rule. Marriages would not fail because our spouses happiness would be our primary goal in life. It's almost impossible to get divorced if your number one priority in life is your spouses happiness and everything you do is to further that goal. If only we would all follow this pattern. What a world that would be! Until tomorrow.