Today I read 1 Timothy 5 where Paul talks about caring for the widows and the proper manner of life for women. I imagine that this chapter causes quite a stir among those who find it debasing for women to be a stay at home mother, as Paul counsels women to marry young, bear children and guide the house so that the adversary can find no place in it. I really liked this verse for 1 very important reason.
I have always been baffled at women who date and marry men that they know are bad men. Men who have really bad habits and yell at them and treat them really poorly. I remember one of my own girlfriends from college had dated a bad boy just before she met me. I asked her why and she said at the time she had thought she could help him. When I met my wife and asked her about this strange phenomenon she said that a lot of women will date a man not because of who he is now, but because of who he can become later. I told her I thought that was silly, that if you can't live with what you have now, how are you going to stick around for when the later comes around. My wife also told me that for a lot of women it's a pride thing, they think they can change the man in question. My wife even admitted to at times thinking she could change certain habits of mine.
I laughed when she told me this and said that was just silly. That no woman( or man for that matter) can change a man(or woman). It is impossible to change another person. Only that person can change him/herself. However, a good woman, can cause a man to WANT to change. I remember when I met my wife and she found out that not only did I watch rated "R" movies, that I had quite a number of them in my DVD collection, she did not ask me to get rid of them right away, but rather stated they would need to be gone before the children came along. I readily agreed as I knew I shouldn't be watching such movies anyway. Well it was not 2 days later when I went to the temple and decided that if I was going to get rid of my rated "R" movies some day anyway, why not just do it now. So I went home and packed them all up and got rid of them that day. My wife, at the time just my fiancee, was shocked. She couldn't believe that I had done that. When she asked me why I had done it so soon, I shrugged and said that she made me want to be better than I am.
A good woman, or even a good man, can make a man, or woman, desire to change. I remember watching the movie Big Fat Greek Wedding with my wife and I remember the mother tells the daughter that while the father may be the head of the family, the mother is the neck and tells the head where to look. I thought that was a perfect analogy! A good, righteous women does more for this world than any two men combined. The priesthood holder may be the head of the family, but often times it is the wife that urges the family to have family prayer and family scripture study. It is the wife that is the teacher of the children since the husband has to work and doesn't get as much face time with the children. A good, righteous women most certainly guides the family and can keep Satan at bay. I am constantly in awe of my wife and what she does day in and day out. I could not do her "job". I am not built for it. She has so much strength and so much of the Spirit in her it amazes me all the time. She never fails to point me in the right direction if needed and to support me, even at the cost of her free time. She always supports me in giving service and in fulfilling my priesthood duties. She reminds me of things I have forgotten and that I need to be an example to those around me. She never lets me forget to take an opportunity to teach my daughter. She is stronger than any man I have ever met in my life.
The world would have us believe that women are nothing more than sex objects. The opposite end of the spectrum is that the world would have us believe that women don't need men at all and they'd be better off without them. But the truth is that women need men just like men need women. But women are strong! They guide the family and support their husbands in their righteous endeavors and decisions. Paul is right that a good woman is meant to be married and bear children, if physically able. A good woman is also meant to help guide her husband and children in the right path and the way they should go. A good woman is God's agent here on the earth. My wife is such a woman and I thank God every day for her companionship. She is a true helpmeet and I don't know what I would do without her! Until tomorrow.
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