Saturday, June 18, 2011

Pride and Forgiving Others

Today I read Matthew chapter 18. In the first part of this chapter, the Apostles approach Jesus and ask Him, who is he greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. The Lord calls a little child to Him and explains that all must become as a little child and become humble. This would have really confused me I think if not for Mosiah 3:19 which we know tells us that the natural man is an enemy to God and always will be unless we become like a little child and become humble and willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him. The Savior is trying to teach the Apostles here that they need to overcome the natural man, much like King Benjamin did a hundred or so years earlier in the Americas.

Pride is a strange thing and it affects people in so many unique ways. But one thing is for certain, if we have pride, we are not ready to meet God and we will find it extremely difficult to submit to God's will. When we are full of pride we think our way is the best and are unwilling to back down if another idea is presented, or if we do, it is only so that we can prove how foolish the other person's idea was when it fails and will be quick to gloat. Can you ever imagine the Savior gloating or happy that we have failed? It's a tough mental picture to conjure up isn't it?

I think that is another reason the Savior encourages us to do so much service, and why He tells His Apostles that who so ever would be the greatest among them must be the servant of all. It's hard to be prideful when you are performing service. It can most certainly be done and I think most if not all of you have seen it being done, but it is a lot easier to forget yourself and think of others first when we are performing service. By the way the scriptures are written, it seems like that was a difficult concept for the Apostles to understand at first. But we know from later scriptures such as the Acts that they do come to understand what the Savior was teaching them.

It's interesting to me that one of the most important things to ever happen on this earth, the Lord giving the Apostles the sealing power, is only given 1 verse in this chapter. The sealing power, as we know, is so important that if we didn't have it and were not able to use it, the whole earth would pass away and we would be left without hope because we cannot be saved without our dead. We have to have the sealing power to connect the generations together otherwise we earth would be laid to waste the scriptures tell us. In order to accomplish this, the Lord gives His Apostles this authority and it is only mentioned in passing in verse 18. Of course I'm only mentioning it in passing in my post today as an interesting aside so I guess it's fitting.

The last half of the chapter is about forgiveness. The Lord gives the parable of the man who owed 10,000 talents to his lord and his lord forgives the entire debt when it cannot be paid. But this same man finds a man who owes him only 100 pence and puts him debtors prison when the man cannot pay. This story was one I had known since I was a child but did not become real to me until a few years ago. Just before I met my wife and consequently started dating, my life was really on the right track. I had a good job where I had just received a promotion, I bought a house and a new(to me) car. I invited 2 friends to live with me in my house since I was alone and life was good.

Life got even better when I met my wife and then decided to make her my wife. Well, as you would naturally assume, my two roommates had to move out. Both of them had fallen behind on paying their rent, one by only a month or so, but the other by several months. When they were moving out I reminded both about the debt, but knew since they were moving into a new place money would be tight for them and to pay me when they can. Not long afterwards I read this chapter during my personal scripture study and decided that I would give them 6 months where I would remind them once a month and that was all, but after the 6 months I would never mention it again regardless if they had paid or not.

My wife wasn't too keen on the idea but decided it was not her call since it had happened before we were married. Well the friend who only owed one month of rent paid after only a month and half, he felt bad that it had taken him so long and wanted to square the debt and did so. The other friend who owed several months rent, made promises that it would be paid, but eventually the 6 month mark that I had set myself passed and true to my word I never said another thing about it. Now, it was not a lot of money, only about $600-700 or so, but it was money that was rightfully owed to me and we could have used it for several things. But as I reflected on my situation I felt really good about my decision and the peace I felt completely swallowed up any bitter feelings I may have had about losing that money and not having the debt paid to me. But I remember thinking around that time how much I would want someone to do that for me if the rolls were reversed and I was unable to pay it. Now, not to slander him, but my friend could have indeed paid me if he had so chosen. The times I saw him after he moved out and before the 6 months were up, he bought a new(to him) car, a new cell phone and a few other things that easily could have waited. But through it all I would just remind him of the debt to me until the 6 months were up and then not another word about it. I honestly haven't thought of it in months until I read this chapter this morning.

As I stated, my wife had a hard time with my decision at first, but eventually agreed to let it go also. I have never asked her how she feels about it, maybe I should to see if she ever came around. I am confident she has as she does not appear to have any bitterness towards that friend. And she was in her right to be upset since he had the money and was choosing to buy other things instead of pay off the debt, but that was his choice and we have to remember that not everyone was raised the same way we were so we can't expect everyone to react the same way we would in a given situation. But we are commanded to forgive everyone no matter what they did that was wrong. And it is, or can be, a challenge to forgive everyone, especially as the things that people do to us get more and more severe. But if we don't forgive others when they do things against us, then the Lord will not be as quick to forgive us our trespasses either.

Few things in life can hold us back as effectively as not forgiving someone who has harmed us. And few things in life can feel as liberating as finally letting go of a grudge or forgive someone who has harmed you. When we forgive others it lets us move on and progress. It also is very soothing, almost like removing a splinter that you had forgotten it was there. And fortunately, forgiving others is something that gets easier the more you do it. If you find it difficult to forgive, again, this is something the Lord will help you get better at. You gotta love how anytime we want to improve, the Lord is right there cheering us on and ready to give all the help He can! Until tomorrow.

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