Today I read Doctrine and Covenants section 83, a short but important section of the Doctrine and Covenants. Section 83 talks about the fact that wives and children have claim on their husbands and parents respectively for their maintenance. This is speaking of physical maintenance and to me it is really sad that the Lord would even need to speak of this.
There are of course instances where the husband is incapacitated and the wife needs to work, but this should be the rare exception. A wife is to be able to depend on her husband to provide for her and the families needs. Heavenly Father expects wives to stay home and attend to the needs of the families except in rare cases where it is needed for both parents to work in order to meet their needs. I stress the word NEEDS, and not wants. All too often in this day and age I see too many women going to work when they don't need to in order to support the families wants.
Now, I grant you, it is nice to be able to have a certain life sytle, but it is not pleasing to the Lord to sacrifice quality family life in order to get it. I see all around me in this day and age where a family could, and perhaps should, survive on a little less, than they currently do and let the mother return to the home to raise the children, as the Lord has said should be the case. But it is more important to the Lord that you have children raised in the gospel than if you have a 5 bedroom house compared to a 3 bedroom house.
A parent's job is to provide for the physical needs of their children's needs. This is predominantly the father's job by means of having a job and providing the money necessary to give the children adequate shelter, healthy food and clothing appropriate to the current season. Honestly, those are the needs of human beings. Everything else are just nice to have amenities and that is a fact. Computers are great, after all I would not be able to do this blog and you would not be able to read it without a computer, but the fact remains that they are not necessary for our survival in this world.
But the parent's job is also to provide for the spiritual and emotional needs of their children and this is where most parents here in America are woefully lacking. A child's emotional needs are best met when one of the parents, the mother except in extreme circumstances, stay at home with them rather than having them raise by a nanny or a day care or any other number of socially acceptable alternatives to a natural parent. A child needs stability in their life. Countless studies have been done on the decline of social behavior in people that are all traced back to World War II when mothers left the home and went to work, out of necessity due to so many men serving in the military. World War II did more damage than most historians give it credit for, the problem is, the most severe damage was done spiritually by taking the mother out of the home.
Now, there are those out there who would defame me and scream about female's liberation and that I am a backwoods country hick for even suggesting that a woman's place is in the home. That a woman deserves to have a satisfying career and all the garbage that people say when they talk on this subject. But let me ask you something, what does the honors of this life even matter? Really, what are they worth? Is it going to matter when you die that you were the CEO of a company? Well it might because you will have had the unequaled opportunity in this life to bless millions of lives and you will be held accountable to what you did with that power and authority. Aside from that though, what are the honors of men really worth? Anything? Are they worth the emotional well being of our children? Some people apparently think so. In my college economics class I learned that every thing we do has a price. If we don't pay money for it, it has what is called opportunity cost. Meaning that we pay the price of giving up something else, our time usually, to do that thing. So it is worth exactly what you gave up for it. So if a woman wants to work outside the home, it is worth exactly her children's well being to her in order to get it.
This is why it is so important that the husband/father provide enough for his families NEEDS that the mother/wife does not need to work outside the home when the children come along. And sometimes, as harsh as this is going to sound, that means accepting a lower standard of living that you are currently used to. When I met my wife I had a wonderful house that I had bought earlier that year. 3 bedroom, 2 and a half bath with an attached 2 car garage, fenced in back lot and 1700 square feet! And she only made it more beautiful with her ideas. Then we moved and had to sell it and she had to quit working so we now live in a townhouse that only has 1 and a half bathrooms, 2 bedrooms and is only 1100 square feet. It was a HUGE shift for me especially to have to do that, but it is all WORTH it to be able to have her stay home with our daughter and not have to work to maintain a house that we didn't really need but made me feel good about myself to have. It's hard to have 2 cars and drop down to 1 if that's all you can afford. It's hard to sell your nice big house where all your children have their own bedrooms and buy a smaller one that you can afford easier where your children have to share a bedroom. But if you don't live within your means, what are you teaching your children? You are teaching them it's ok for the mother to not stay at home, that it's ok to live on credit rather than save up for what you can afford.
Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. In college times were rough for me so I got some credit cards and racked up some debt. When I got out of college and made some good money, I am ashamed to say I did not use it to get out of debt as I should, I spent it on going out with friends and what I'm sure the Lord would call "riotous living". Why don't children listen to their parents? Parents really do have it all figured out. Well, no use regretting the past.
It is pleasing to God to live on 1 income while you have children living in your home. It is pleasing to Him to teach those children, by example, that THEY are the most important thing in your lives and that you'll even live in a small house, where it is cramped and have less "stuff" in order to make sure their mother can stay home with them and help them develop, mentally and spiritually. Please don't sell your children's righteous upbringing for a large house, or a new flat screen TV when your old one works just fine, or a new car when the old one still runs well and is not breaking down. Your children's future should be worth more than that to you, more than a few nice amenities. It should be worth everything to you, just as our well being is the most important thing to our Heavenly Father. Until tomorrow.
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