Choose Not to be Offended

Today I read John 16, where Jesus continues to prepare His Apostles for what is to come. I like how this chapter opens up. Jesus tells them that they should not be offended. I like that choice of words because it shows that there is a choice to be made. And truly there is. No one can offend us, we have to choose to take offense. And it seems that people are choose to take offense more and more these days. And it's sad because I do not think that most people truly desire to cause us pain or hurt or offense, but we choose to take offense and think the worst about such people. Life is so much better if we choose to think that the majority of the people and their intentions are benign.

I decided a LONG time ago that nothing anyone said or thought about me was going to change the truth of who I am, so why should I care about what they thought or said? It's a simple thing really but most people are not able to accomplish it. They care too much how they are thought of by others. The only person on this earth that I care about their opinion of me, is my wife. Everyone else can draw their own conclusions about me, and do of course, and it won't change anything. But for some reason, I care deeply about what my wife thinks about me. But when you stop caring about what other think, you can accomplish great things for the Lord. You can be an instrument in His hands.

I cannot stress too much that it is a choice to be offended or not. If you have trouble overcoming feelings of hurt or anger over something someone else has said to you, you can always pray for help in overcoming those temptations. The Lord will most definitely help you in this regard. It is not worth throwing away YOUR salvation just because you don't like someone or don't like what they said once upon a time. This is especially true if you dislike someone who is called into the bishopric or branch presidency where you live. It is not acceptable to the Lord to stop going to church because you dislike who HE has called into that position. You do not know better than the Lord. Plus, I have seen in about 80-90% of the cases where someone stopped going to church because they were offended, there was sin in their life before hand anyway. The offense is just a smoke screen for the real reason, guilt. Guilt over not being perfect like the other members of the ward/branch are. Guilt for not being able to overcome their weakness. Guilt over liking their favorite sin.

Such people are not ready to be called to meet God. They are not willing to admit the truth to themselves. They also have grossly misinterpreted their fellow Saints. No one is perfect. No one is living the commandments 100% of the time. It's just not possible. Everyone has a favorite sin. And most people enjoy it, that is why they keep going back to it. And it is almost impossible to overcome this sin without help from Heavenly Father. It was designed this way on purpose so that it would bring us to Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father is the only one who can change us, change our nature, so that we no longer desire to do evil. We have to humble ourselves and ask for His help in overcoming our weakness and to change our nature so that we no longer desire to do those things. This is true whether our weakness is a bad temper, pornography, alcohol consumption, laziness or whatever else might be keeping us from fulfilling our duty to God as we should be.

I once had a discussion with a very good friend of mine who had fallen away from the church. He had sinned, as is ALWAYS the case I personally feel, and so avoided church. I once got him to talk to me about it and he said that he felt terrible because he did not feel bad about the sin. He was worried that because he did not feel bad about the sin that he was not welcome back in church or something like that. Sadly, he made the choice to not come back and to stay away from church to this day. He did not understand the Atonement well enough and was not ready to give up his favorite sin. I still hold out hope that one day he will come back, along with several other of my friends who have fallen for one reason or another.

Always remember that your salvation is much more important that holding a grudge against someone who has said something to you they shouldn't have, on purpose or by accident. We are required to forgive all men, whether they deserve it or not. It is not our decision if they are deserving of our forgiveness or not. And I promise when we stand before God and He asks us why we did not forgive someone, our excuses of he offended me will ring very, very hollow in our ears. Please don't put yourself in that position. Forgive all men their trespasses against you. Learn not to be offended. Heavenly Father will help you in this regard if you ask Him. He is waiting for you to come to Him for help. Don't make Him wait in vain. Until tomorrow.